so… i had a non-date today. i’m calling it a non date because i refuse to call it a date. it was bullshit.
the guy hasn’t been sleeping very well because he has been busy with final projects and graduating… so during lunch he says “hey i’m going to knock out for a bit.” curls into a ball on his side of the booth and literally falls asleep. uhhh… no. the fuckk?? i’m busy too bro. first time (and hopefully the last time) i actually texted my friend to call me and tell me he had a crisis so that i could leave.
this. this is my dating life.
anak ng puta.
as much as i would like to say that my ex didn’t damage me… he did. every time i start to feel interest in a guy i get a feeling that I always got with my ex. That feeling you get when you see betrayal. every time i found out he lied to me, or did something behind my back. that feeling like you’re on a roller coaster and you hit that one massive drop and your heart feels like it’s suspended in air. sure might seem like a good feeling, mostly everyone enjoys a rollercoaster… but now imagine that that dropping feeling doesn’t stop and so you start to panic. that’s the feeling that i get.
even though i know that these guys are not betraying me… just getting that feeling because i know they could. it usually occurs at that point where i know i’m liking them more than i’d want to admit. then i get this feeling… and BAM! i run away because i never want to give anyone the opportunity to make me feel like that again. i know it’s wrong but i just can’t help it. i hate that feeling. i hate it so much.
right now at this point i also hate my ex. how he can go off and date immediately (or maybe even during) after we break up. yet i am too damaged to even imagine getting that close to anyone again. i don’t know what to do anymore.
reptilliachord:
Pokémon Avengers ♥
(via hoyits-xyza)
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